Throughout the years, I learned how to dream big. I worked hard and did everything within my power to improve myself and achieve my lifelong dream of becoming a lawyer. I haven’t achieved the dream yet; still in the process of overcoming bumps and roadblocks.
As I did these, I became absorbed with the notion of power, fame, and “perks” of being an attorney even before I even become one. Slowly, the true reason why I decided to pursue this dream in the first place has been clouded.
Then, God spoke me in an unexpected way. He used my boyfriend, Jumel, to do it. Perhaps, He thought things won’t be as bad if the boyfie did the blow. Lol.
One day, we were talking via facebook chat:
Me: Whatever happens, I want to become a lawyer and I’m gonna be one. I don’t care what it takes for me and what I’d lose.
Jumel: (With his brutally honest yet very enlightening answer) You and I are nothing without God. At the end of the day, when you die and face Him, who are you gonna be? Lawyer? “ATTY.” is just a title.
We fought that night. He fought with me for all the right reasons and convictions, but I argued my heart out because of pride.
But Jumel is correct. As I grew closer to the Lord, reading and digesting the Scriptures, I found out that there are more to just being a lawyer. Suddenly, I viewed my dream, and journey to achieving it, with a different yet invigorated perspective.
I suddenly remembered why I started in the first place. I have always wanted to become a lawyer because I felt I have more to give to my fellow human beings. Despite the fact that my fellow Filipino people think that I am too ambitious, silly, and (sometimes) borderline stupid to dream big for my country, I still want to become a catalyst of change. I believe my skillset will be further maximized in the practice of such profession.
But unlike before, I feel more inspired because I now know to whom I should attribute every bit of success or accomplishment I have or will ever achieve: to Him and no other. Pride and lust for my ambitions made me cling on to worldliness for happiness and contentment, instead to God who can give way more than what this world can offer.
Friends, I lived a life tainted with pride. It was glamorous at first, but I wasn’t even close to happy.
However, when I went in autopilot mode, with God calling all the shots in my life, EVERY SINGLE THING FELT RIGHT.
May you also discover, feel, and enjoy the contentment that I have right now, free of fear and hesitations, through the Lord — the greatest life pilot to each and everyone of us.